I was driving today and was listening to Sunday School lessons on
tape CD. The topic? The wife’s role in a marriage. Honestly, I thought it was all going to be the same old, same old. I was just trying to stay alert.
But instead I was convicted on so many levels! There are too many details to share tonight, but, I promise to put all my new wisdom to work and share the results ;) In all reality, my marriage (in my opinion) is pretty amazing. I am still loving it (is 5 years still honeymoon stage?) but I know I could use a little work in the HelpMeet arena!
The CD reminded me of the natural tendencies of my husband. Typically, most men can be categorized in to one of three categories. Though a man may have a spectrum of these traits, he should favor one of these types.
1. Mr. Command
2. Mr. Visionary
3. Mr. Steady
Mr. Command feels a GREAT need to lead others’ to success. As far as the wife is concerned, he is greatly insulted when she questions his leadership. This man benefits most from a wife who serves him willingly and helps him accomplish what he is going to attempt anyway. The wife may be overshadowed in her husbands success or personality, but if she fulfills her role as an enabler, he is liable to treat her like a queen.
Mr Visionary has AMAZING ideas. Many of them may seem insane, and, in all actuality, many are impossible! The biggest hindrance is a critical wife. On the other hand, this man will have the courage to leap over the moon at the encouragement and support of his wife. The wife of this man should be prepared for a life of rags, or a life of riches because this man is willing to take amazing risks!
Mr. Steady represents many men. He leads a fairly predictable life (dinner at such and such a time, family nights every tuesday, etc) if he can help it. This man would be content to live in the same house, have the same job, and run his car until it dies. This mans prime motivation is to make his wife happy and usually does not expect too much from his wife (i.e may not expect his clothes ironed or the house to be perfect).
This is my own understanding of what I read in Debi Pearl’s, Created to be His Helpmeet. My husband is, by and large, a Mr. Command. Until today, I did not realize how much I was not supporting his natural leadership tendencies. I understand, a little better anyway, why he expects me to get his clothes ready in the morning (he does not get upset if I do not, but really enjoys when I do). I understand why he considers certain things my job. Don’t get me wrong, my husband, would do ALL the housework, cook dinner AND work a full time job if that is what it took. He is a servant, but is greatly encouraged when I help him on his way.
One thing I realized was important is making his decisions mine. This is true for any husband, but especially mine, who naturally feels the burden of leadership. In the end, how important are little issues anyway? If he remembers something wrong, or gets directions wrong, there is no reason to prove him wrong, but to just enjoy the ride.
What about your husband? What do you believe his dominant trait is? What challenges and blessings does it bring with it?
- A Husband Describes How His Wife’s Submission Makes Him a Better Man! (peacefulwife.com)
- The Day When I Didn’t Like How My Husband Was Leading Our Home(joleneengle.com)